Satisfaction

Some Reflections

“A man with genius is unendurable if he does not also possess at least two other things: gratitude and cleanliness.”

~Friedrich Nietzche

I have been studying online at Peterson Academy for some time now. There I took a philosophy course on Nietzche. I took it twice! I have always had a difficult time with Nietzche and this was one way I saw to look that difficulty in the eye. You see. Some things Nietzche says tear me apart. I have let his words have the power to break me open and grieve the deepest reality I have ever known. I have witnessed how he asks questions that put reality in a perspective I have never considered. It’s like I’ve seen him encounter and hammer down reality to the component which magnifies how extremely vulnerable Reality chose to be for all time and this whispers in my quietest moment how humble and vulnerable every single being is.

I am learning to trust more this keen sense of vulnerability because I am learning to believe it has the power to put me back together and bring me into my home:

“The heart’s embrace of God the Father for all eternity.”

~Blessed Columba Marmion, Christ the Life of the Soul

It is wild to me how Neitzche discovered this edge in his philosophy and how so many times it is brandished by ideologies as a “will to power” to reject, trample and exploit vulnerability. What is more, in this time of ideologies and numerous hierarchical collapses I notice how Nietzsche discovered a humility in his philosophy so terrible that it is awful and fearful to approach, hold and fathom. This gem of humility makes me ask a question. What if One could walk through Neitzche’s philosophy, not be poisoned and surrender to the lowest place for the highest aim?

The quote above is an example of Niezsche’s keen insight that encourages me to open up to what I want most.

In an aim for what is highest I rolled up my sleeves today, noticed all the unattended places, things and people in my domain and set to work slowing down, attuning to each chaotic component and wrestled a way for each into order. First it was the grinding of coffee beans, the slow pouring of hot water through the chemix, two hot mugs of coffee for my husband and me, the slicing and buttering of delicious local sourdough and filling the children’s mini mugs and water bottles. I did all this upon the turning wheel of the kitchen’s morning cycle for a breakfast hot and ready.

Next my husband and I nestled together on our new green living room sofas to lift our minds and hearts to the gaze of “The Three in One.”

After that we were off to the races ~he to the office, I to the home front.

I prompted the children to dress and tidy their rooms so all would be poised and ready for our activities. The mountain of laundry unattended on the sofa caused at least two children annoyance when they had to find their daily wear in an unusual place. I encourage myself and them, “We’re all doing our best here,” as I put away dishes and made bowls of yogurt and berries to hand out when they finished tidying.

Then I heard laughing and the creaking spring of a mattress and bed frame down the hall. Entering the boys room I found the two boys playing a game of leap from one trundle bed to the other instead of what they were asked to do. The naked one in panic ran across the hall to use the restroom. “Grab a blanket!” I call out.

Where was I again?

Oh, yes. The unattended chaotic components and a way for each to become ordered.

“Timer is going on, boys. You have seven minutes to be dressed and tidy this room or you’re going to my room for some discipline.”

Going back to the kitchen my oldest daughter is dissatisfied with her first choice of attire. I offer her a couple suggestions and send her back to her room to sort out what will work. Finally we were all back in the kitchen for yogurt and berries.

When everyone finished we laid out our new game day trackers from our Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu class. For every responsibility promptly done or done without prompt one or two mountains are colored until each child reaches their age goal.

I hope to be a genius some day! Here is some of my work toward cleanliness. I am grateful for my home front and the time I have now to make satisfaction in this small window of the mystery of Redemption. Tende Supra!